Self Control

Self control to me means the other 50% of Quality living. It's the part in life that plays the role of keeping the mind, body and soul in check and running at the pace it should be. It teaches us the disciplinary things we need to learn to apply ourselves in multiple settings in life. I'm 50% realist and 50% understanding so go ahead and judge me for these things I'm sure many of you can relate but are in denial (thanks to all my haters)☝

For the people who relate to these things you are not alone trust me. Alot of us struggle with self control daily but have no idea how to identify it.

Identifying & Monitor 

Over the years I don't think I actually sat down and thought about the importance of self control in my teens. Of course as I grew older some things did spiraled in my life because I never learned self control or even wanted to learn I just wanted to live what you call it  "the Unruly life eh"

Over the course of 10 years, getting my first job, my first car, my first real relationship just some Independence sheesh I felt like no one could stop me but Uuuuuurk ha! Little did I know I had no clue what I was doing or the long term problems I would be facing.

 I battled with lack of self control in areas like 
  • Self destructive brackets 
  • Shopping addictions 
  • Drinking too much alcohol 
  • Over eating which caused me to have a eating disorder 
  • Lack of time management at work which resulted in spending many hours working and barely anytime for my social life 

It took me 10 years later in 2016 when I battled with the worst case of depression I have ever had to learn some self control. I lost alot of things most of the things I accomplished working my ass off to achieve to just waste before my eyes because of no control.

They say having too much of something can be a bad thing and boy isn't that truth because it is. I had no control of my spending habits at all. I was buying too much stuff way too much things that I did not need and more of things I wanted.

💬I use to have the most ridiculous anger issues. I'm not disappointed about it, i'm not mad at myself about it; if anything i'm more thankful that I was able to recognize these things. The things people would say or do to me would instantly have me on defense mood. After dealing with a few bad break-ups my guard was already up and I was very very closed in. I was not able to control the way I reacted to people which was so confusing. I had to stop for a second and take accountability because It tired me out being defensive all the time it was exhausting.

💬I'm more of a smoker than I am a drinker back then I was drinking too much and by far not thinking about the circumstances.

💬I then developed a habit of doing retail shopping after every stressful setting I had. I continuously shopped without a budget or a care I just consistently did it for a while. I had no idea that there was a difference between a want and a need for a while. This made it hard to shop with intention of only purchasing things I needed instead I shopped aimlessly.

💬 Depression was honestly a really hard thing for me to get out of. It played a big role with my eating disorder. I rather make a video talking about my eating disorder to give me some time to get my YouTube up and i'll update you guys on this.

💬 Yes we need self control as individuals weather it being lifestyle, home life, social setting, urges we need it but did you know that we also need self control at work? I use to have the hardest time managing my time effectively at work. Either overworking or not having enough time to get my shit done!

Standard and Strength 

Earlier in my discussion I mentioned viewing self control as the other 50% of Quality living. This means you can have the things you want but in moderation with discipline. After going through such trials this became a more learning experience than a set back. Yes I manage to mess somethings up royally in my life but the advantage to this is that life is all about learning. You never stop learning. I grew from that I understand that remembering the issues I struggled with prior had to stop. I did not want in anyway feeling so dependent, upset, tired, and frustrated with myself or with anyone. I took accountability for all these things and found ways to make it work. Because "We are all in control of our actions". I talk to myself everyday giving myself more praises and rewards for things I worked to correct when placed in similar situations from my past. It takes a lot of energy to commit or even having the will power. But you have to build and work which is what I realized. I now live a more quality life now that I can identify areas I needed more discipline in.

by CurlyFroSista

Today I have the beautiful Ajeanicole from ajeanicole.com joining on today's discussion hope you guys enjoy the read and find this useful in your journey.

An Ode to Self-Control 
BY Ajeanicole 

What does self-control mean to you

For me, self-control is being able to ride on top of the wave when life's situations make me feel like I am sinking. In a way, it's also being able to possess a sense of stillness in the midst of that's happening and even when I don't understand every step. Self-control is being able to acknowledge and recognize one's self that things are not always perfect, that sad things in life will happen but carrying on is possible."

Why did you need to learn self-control in your 20s?

List some areas that needed some awakening

I’m 23-years-old and honestly, self-control is a concept that I am constantly learning and try to apply to my life daily. In 2016, I went through a season where I was completely a broken. I had a been in a situation with someone that from the outside in, they just about had all the characteristics that I look for and would want in a guy. Months into this situation, I found myself battling with the weight of making wrong decisions, not valuing myself in the way that I should, and ultimately just sacrificing my values on certain things. Why? Well, because when someone shows you who they are, it’s common to believe it. So I did.

I felt so ugly. I felt shame, regret, guilt, and so much more. On one hand, I couldn’t believe that I allowed myself to think that the situation was good when it wasn’t. And on the other hand, I couldn’t believe he completely made me a level of vulnerability that I’ve never experienced before. I immediately began running through different scenarios in my head about what I should of have done differently. I blamed myself. I routinely tried to pick up the broken pieces to move on, but the weight of his lies and the dimensions of his deceit became too hard to bare.

In that particular season of brokenness, one thing that got me through was God. Through Him, I was able to understand that thought I felt wretched, what happened to me and what I was apart of did not change the way He felt about me, and to this day, it still hasn’t. Since overcoming that situation, I prioritize myself first and always. I now ensure that more than ever, I am not only intuned with myself, what I’m doing, why I’m doing it, and how I feel about it, but I ensure that I do not throw myself on the ground to be trampled over. I am too important. I am worth something much more than that. I am so thankful that through my mess, to serve a God of second chances.

How did you feel now after learning self-control? 

I think learning self-control is definitely important but understanding that what it means for me may differ from what it may mean for you. For me, self-control is also a matter of being able to confront any mistakes I have encountered or been a part of but knowing that I do not have to beat myself up about them. In this life, I believe that we all are a process in progress. We are all trying to be better today than the day before, and that’s okay.

<Give some advice to pass it on!
Sometimes in order to move ahead, it will require that you confront the things stowed away on top of a shelf or hidden somewhere in the closet. Though it may not always be comfortable, those remnants are an aspect of who you are; but they don’t define who you will be now or in the future. We are all constantly evolving each day. Spend some time learning and loving yourself, fully, because you want to and because you’re definitely worth it!

Ways to connect with me:

IG / Twitter:


Hey my dolls <3 Did I mention how happy I am to have great supporters like you :) Even if my post gets the max or minimal views I receive you all humbly and happy that you're still interested in reading my life stories or just my experiences.