"I Can't Believe She Called Me Fat"| Body Shaming Story

" I can't believe she called me fat"

Hey my dolls, Whats good sis & Bro! I was sitting the other day I remembered the time one of my supposed friend at the time told me I was fat. Right?? I was shocked asf so lets dive into the story-time. 

So back then then worked for this tele-medicine company that was just starting up. I had a really good position  but I worked grave yard shift. To me working at night was more was more flexible so I could focus on me during the day it was good while it lasted.

I worked in the Operations Dept in the call center and we hired a group of employees  for the mid shift and it so happened "Just cuz....... we'll call her Sue"  Sue worked mid shift and I didn't meet her officially I just heard there was a Guyanese girl working on the shift that ended into when I started mine and that she's cool. At the time making friends at the call center was not uncommon to me because I actually had a handful of friends who worked with me at the same job.

So I started my shift that night and she actually walked up to me and talks to me, you know casual small talk. She was complimenting my hair and skin and told be about her life back home. Part of me was confused how she know who I was. lol  I of course I introduced myself and every night after that she would continue to make small talk until she left the mid shift to come work overnight with me. Lawwwwd!

My boss would check in on the shift making sure everything was okay. Then he basically  gave me a small heads up about miss feisty Sue. So I was like oh oh okay feel me like I ain't wanna judge her so I was like okay i'll be as professional as. I mean yes we were from the same country but I'm all about vibes she did not grow up there like I did so our views still differs. Anyway she and I clicked a few times of course over FOOOD! Ya'll know I'm a major foodie especially Indian food my mom makes the best Indian food she's a great cook! off subject

So we were sitting down one day and she was constantly talking about her  louis vuitton bag. Guys listen I hate to break it to you I don't have any fashion sense I always wear what makes me look and feel great. So in my head i'm like okay I'm not gonna say she's bougie i'll wait for the next sign. Then she went on to say she does not eat at this place, that place, all places I actually loved. lol Prior to this sit down we decide to go to Benihanna the following week to grab lunch. I had no clue where or what type of food it was . Mid sentence of her telling me the time she was like 'Sabrina your skin so pretty and you're so beautiful buuuuuut you need to take better care of yourself. 

So I'm like "Huh" in my head. Guys I weighed 165 back then I'm 5'5 I gained weight where the cheeks were popping but I've always been a ChubbyBaby :D  After going through this whole body issue thing I just started appreciating myself more.So hearing that made my anxiety started fucking with me. 

She then says " Yea I don't need no fat friend to be walking around with". "I need my friend looking good" so instantly I was super defensive it was eating me on the inside. I was dealing with so many insecurity issues back then I shut down that night at work. She then persuaded me she would help me workout. Guys I never realized that she was a controlling person until we fell out. Even with that I still did not think how toxic those words were I was completely disconnected from my body. So after she called me fat I think we talked about it briefly after a while. She did not see it as a big deal but to me I was boiling.

 I think that Sabrina was so quiet I was so out of my element. I had alot of inner issues I was battling. I thought she was doing something good by helping me identity my weight issue. I was not obese yal I gained (10lbs) she was just really slim and toned and I was chubby. So that fucked me up. I slowly started to resent her on the low like hearing her speak would make me disgusted like wow how can someone be so it's not straight up "Arrogant." This was 23 year old me and looking back I think I would have snatched her right there and then if I had this confidence I have now. JS

Hearing those words caused my behavior to change I went to the gym for the wrong reason. I starved myself for the wrong reason I was doing way too much to please someone else it just sucked. If I  could go back to that moment and reset my response from that day I would. It obviously affected me because I still remember it to this day it's quite funny because I grew into my body as I got older but we grew apart and fell out it wasn't worth it. 

I am hella against body shaming I've been a victim of it many times. Even self inflicting I suffered from a horrible depression that created too many clouds that created false feelings towards myself. 

Learn to accept people for who they are and not what they look like. And at the time I wanted to be accepted but f**k that shit now. I wear what I want, eat what I want and I certainly respond very much with confidence. I wear my confidence on my body and face everyday. It's deeper to me showing it on the outside side because finally the inside and out matches.

If you can relate feel free to comment. Show some love please.
Thanks for reading.